- - Knock knock?
- - Who’s there?
- - Jace!
- - Jace who?
- - That depends. In which part of the saga are you?
Omfg I was sitting in a room with a bunch of my aunts, uncles and cousins and my grandma had this weird smile on her face so I asked her what was up and she just looked at me and said “everyone in this house is alive thanks to my vagina”
one time i got a sample from the tea store at the mall and as i walked away the guy said “tea you later” and then his coworker smacked him
do you know how nice it is when someone asks you questions about something you like and are interested in and you get to talk about the thing and they seem genuinely interested in what you have to say about the thing
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are all standing watching a street performer do some excellent juggling. The juggler notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he stands up on a large wooden box and calls out, “Can you all see me now?”
Took me about ten minutes to finally understand this
It helps if you read it in the accents….
Amanda Abbington, on how she and Martin Freeman met.
this smooth ass motherfucker